Author Topic: See if messages have been read  (Read 7260 times)

Johnboy

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See if messages have been read
« on: August 31, 2008, 06:38:13 PM »
A feature I would like is

Being able to see if your messages you have sent to other members have been READ, DELETED or UNREAD.
A little icon next to your sent messages showing the status of that message.
eg:
a closed envelope for unread
an opened envelope for read
a trashcan if your message has been trashed.

This could be a PAID member feature.
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strawberries90

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2008, 03:06:03 AM »
excellent call.

I see this same feature on all the sites I am on.


admin2

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2008, 05:05:31 AM »
Aren't you concerned about privacy with this one?
I mean even the the "real" email clients are asking if you want to return a receipt before actually returning one.
I think that once you sent it, the message doesn't belong to you anymore, it belongs to the receiver. I would not like the sender to know that I am moving his/her messages to trash or reporting it as spam, etc. He/she might start harassing me or something.
Maybe I would accept a "return receipt" question and willingly let the sender know that I read the message but not more.

I can code anything that you want into Etano and core development was always about the most requested features that makes sense but do you really expect members to actually like this?

strawberries90

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2008, 05:19:56 AM »
I wouldn't want the trashcan aspect.

But on sites I am on, it's common to be able to see if your PM has been opened or is still unopened. I wouldn't want any email from the etano system alerting me to my PM being read.  That would mean endless mundane automated emails.  I wouldn't want that at all. 

But on the sites I frequent, you see an opened or unopened tiny icon beside your sent PM. 

I don't think that that is an invasion of privacy.

It's not dissimilar to recorded mail - i.e. you are aware that the person has indeed received your correspondence.


maverick

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2008, 10:42:39 AM »
Personally I always have a concern with features that have what I call the "Snoop Factor", something that snoops and reports to a member on what you're doing, like the who's viewed your profile, or if the person has actually viewed or read or trashed your message.

Like most people, I too find it cool and interesting to know who's viewed my profile or actually read my messages, but for many people it's not so great when you're on the other side of the fence and browsing profiles knowing each time you view a profile that person knows you did, or once you open and read that message you feel obligated to respond because the user will know you read it or trashed it and are maybe ignoring them. Sometimes people need time to think it over at their own leisure what to say in the response and maybe want to review the senders profile details a few times first to see if they are interested.

Keep in mind, many people often join dating type sites because the are shy or un-trusting or introverted, and thus turn to the Internet because there's far less pressure and they can remain anonymous and private until they feel ready and comfortable to send or respond to messages. For some people it takes a lot of courage to send a message and can often take them time to decide what they should say. By having "Snoop Factors" could make these types of members feel uneasy or pressured, even to the point where they may land up leaving seeking alternative sites.

I've belonged to sites that have these features and received messages such as, "I noticed you viewed my profile several times and was wondering if you're interested" or "I've noticed that you read my message and was wondering why you haven't replied". Personally I only found this a bit annoying and just responded with a nay or yeh, but imagine if I was overly shy or introverted, this could have caused me to panic or get mad that everyone seems to know what I'm looking at and doing on this site.

This is just my personal opinion, such features might be fine for some sites, all I'm saying is, having lots of cool features are great but just be careful and consider all the pros and cons before deciding if a feature would really be a benefit and a good fit for your target audience.

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strawberries90

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2008, 11:12:06 AM »
Keep in mind, many people often join dating type sites because the are shy or un-trusting or introverted, and thus turn to the Internet because there's far less pressure and they can remain anonymous

I don't typically find that.

Anyone who is willing to put up personal photos, or who willingly discusses their interests and their perfect partner in a profile page, is not typically the shy type.

Most I know who participate in dating sites have, for whatever reasons, rather limited opportunities to meet other people of a likemind.  Maybe they live in a remote location, or their interest/niche is only shared by a minimal numbers of folks across the world (e.g. communists in north america; dubya for peace society; scandinavian lovers of 60's californian surf music; blair appreciation society, etc)  ;)

I checked today, the three big main sites that I have used for years - and they ALL have this feature.  It's no biggie.  It's pretty much default for the dating/social networking industry from what I see.
 


maverick

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2008, 12:50:19 PM »
I'm not suggesting that the typical person who joins a dating type site is shy or introverted, but a small percentage will be, and why make anyone feel uncomfortable. If you have any reservations about approaching people in person (especially the opposite sex) then you're most likely shy or introverted to some degree, and possibly more so than you realize, which makes up more of the population than you may think. It's far easier for most people to talk and approach people online than it is face-to-face, and a lot of it has to do with rejection, which can be tough for most to accept in person, but online it's much easier to be brave.

Forums are good extreme example (not this one of course), look how many brave mouthy and cheeky people you find, guarantee they wouldn't be so brave saying some of the things they do to someone face-to-face.

IMO these features serve very little purpose other than to satisfy our natural instinct of being inquisitive or nosey. Just because someone views your profile that doesn't mean they are interested, and IMO would actually be rather rude and ignorant for anyone to assume otherwise and send a message to someone just because they viewed their profile, so what purpose does it serve other than being nosey?

There's a big difference from posting your photo and putting yourself out there than having people know what your doing on the site. That's also the main reason a lot of people don't post their photos on dating sites, they are shy or worry about their privacy and is why having "Private Photos" is a big feature, they control who sees them or who can identify them. Even some of the BIG dating sites don't even allow visitors to view profiles or photos, this isn't just to try and coax people to join and pay, it also provides another layer of privacy for it's members. Unfortunetley this isn't an option for most sites as they rely on allowing their member's profiles or photos to be viewed as an enticement to get visitors to join. If I had it my way, I too would close the door and make it a more private for my members, but it's just not that realistic to do that right now.

These ""Snoop Factor" features might be fine for some sites, and I guess it's a personal preference, they just aren't something I'd personally want on my site. My concept is to try and provide a laid back and comfortable atmosphere for everyone. If you happen to be shy or a bit introverted "Come On In!" feel to peek and browse around, we won't pressure you or "tell on you" for browsing. Hey, maybe that would make a good sales pitch for my site.  :D

I'm not suggesting that my way is the right way for all sites, it's just my personal point of view and the way I prefer to run my site.

 

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admin2

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2008, 01:23:54 PM »
Yeah, so we basically arrived at the same conclusion: addon, not in the core or at least an on/off trigger :)

Johnboy

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #8 on: September 02, 2008, 03:41:15 AM »
Hear Hear !!
Just let me know when the addon is available and I'll buy it.

Theres always many points of views and perceptions of features, and Ill pay for one good reason, members will know (and pay for it)
Am I wasting my time contacting this member? and being able to see whether you have been trashed, is a very good indication. Also knowing they haven't read it, also gives a member hope, they may reply, which will keep them coming back to see. Also knowing it has been read, and you havent received a reply also lets you know you are wasting your time. The member that trashes the mail will also be aware that the sender will be aware of them trashing it. Which is an easy way for them to show that they are not interested.

As far as annoying members by rejecting them in this manner and getting harassed, there is always the ignore button.

This is just my opinion for my purposes on my website. I CAN understand the privacy issues though for other sites.
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strawberries90

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2008, 04:54:33 AM »
With regard to the different ideas (e.g. messages read/unread; picture tagging), there will always be a lot of subjectivity involved. 

It's probably best, with the core more or less complete, to have any new features for etano as addons.

We can all agree on that.




sallyb

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #10 on: December 25, 2008, 04:39:23 PM »
Is anything happening with this? My members keep asking for it. Agree though about the trashcan, I wouldn't like that.

Comments from my members have been along the lines of, if they have read it and don't respond you know to give up but is better than wondering if they have read it yet and keeping your hopes up.

sallyb

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #11 on: March 29, 2009, 10:26:04 PM »
Any progress with this?

shadows

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #12 on: November 04, 2009, 04:44:13 AM »
Just thought we'd add our vote.
Our members would like to be able to see if their messages have been read, but that's all.

HelenJames

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« Reply #13 on: July 26, 2010, 11:21:57 PM »
Something alike was discussed on the ask.com,i can give someone a link if anybody need it
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msimmons

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Re: See if messages have been read
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2011, 03:38:33 AM »
I agree that adding such feature would actually pose somewhat pressure to the users to read messages or some may actually take advantage or give the wrong impression on some users whether it be positive or negative. It is somewhat an invasion of privacy also as what was mentioned earlier since when one is sending messages, one can only hope but never expect from the other party to read or more so reply to a message but that should not give a wring impression or such so to avoid such misunderstanding, it might be better if we leave it at that.