Johnboy;
I can totally understand your frustration that version updates and patches won't be automatic if you've done any heavy modifications. I guess that's the price we pay for having the freedom of full access to the code that allows us to customize the script and add the features we want. I suppose that's one advantage that could be said for buying software with encrypted code, it restricts customization and altering of the code making patches and updates easier for all their customers. Typically all you can do with encrypted software is customize the skin.
When it comes to most open source CMS software, such osDate, Dolphin, Joomla, etc., updates and patches are often a problem as well. Just try updating to a major version change, you'll find lots of things that will break, including bridges, skins, and many third party addons you've included will no longer work.
Yes, even I get a bit nervous that something won't work properly after doing a manual update, and sometimes there's certain things in an update I'm not sure about, but I was fully aware what I was getting into before I started, and for me it's worth the headaches because it's allowed me to customize Etano to my hearts content and create features nobody else has.
You're right, some features you had done as custom jobs maybe should have been standard features and part of the core, but on the flip side of the coin you might be surprised how many little custom things Dan may have done for you that were unique and important to you and your site, but maybe not something others may have needed or wanted.
Dan and I have a had a few discussions about Etano on what would be the best direction for it in the future, and it's more complicated than most people might imagine, not everything is black and white like some software is.
I've worked on developing all kinds of sites using a variety of CMS software, including ecommerce sites with shopping carts, and I have to say Dating and SN sites are among the most complex to develop, especially if you want something full featured and unique.
So I guess I'm kind of sitting on the fence on this one, as I can see the pros and cons of both sides, it's like "damned if you do and damned if you don't" type of scenario.